Book Camp – Long Overdue

Last summer I had the opportunity to teach two distinct classes unlike any I do during a regular school year. The first, for 11^th and 12^th graders, is an intense “boot camp” meant to prepare students for the SAT. Unlike other test prep programs, however, this company refuses to teach strategies or methods to “beat the test” and instead maintains that the smartest people are those who read deeply and extensively, so to do well on a test of reading comprehension or writing, a student must read and write. A lot. Daily. Intensely. Last August I posted two articles I got from that experience. Those were the mornings.

In the afternoons, however, I had a completely different assignment for students entering 9^th and 10^th grade. This “book camp” was equally intense: 7 books in 8 weeks, 2 hour classes for discussion and exploration 4 days per week. It was heavenly for me. We read a mix of fiction and non-fiction, traditional and off-beat literature. I had students who were motivated, who actually did the reading and came to class ready to discuss their thoughts and opinions and observations. I felt like I was discovering alongside them and almost felt like I was taking a class myself.

The reading list included:

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – Sherlock Holmes: Hound of the Baskervilles

Mark Haddon - Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (a mystery story from the point of view of an autistic, 16-year-old British boy)

Neil Postman - Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business (a diatribe against television and all it has done to us)

Temple Grandin - Animals in Translation (a non-fiction piece about how autism can help humans make connections to the ways animals think)

Malcolm Gladwell - The Outliers (an exploration of the roots of success: opportunity and legacy)

Leif Enger - Peace Like a River (a novel about a teenaged outlaw and his family)

Paulo Coelho - The Alchemist (an allegory about finding yourself and your life’s purpose)

Yann Martel - Life of Pi (fall extension class – a novel about an Indian boy, a sunken ship, and 7 months on a lifeboat with a tiger)

Of the 8 books I read, I have wanted to blog about 3 of them ever since. Here is the Cliff’s Notes version of my thoughts:

The Outliers

Rarely, even in the experience of an avid reader, does a single book completely change how a person sees the world. For me, The Outliers is one such book. I was so captivated by this text that for weeks I read it at anyone who sat still long enough. I read the first chapter to my mom and she proceeded to read the entire book. I read it to Joe. I read it to Joe’s mom. I read to my sister and Rocco and Kirk and his girlfriend and then bought the book as a gift for two more people. If I were to make one of those Top Ten Books That Changed My Life lists, this book would definitely be there.

The premise of the book is that our traditional ideas of how someone becomes successful in America – pull yourself up by your bootstraps, work hard and long and be dedicated – while not completely untrue are definitely misguided. The author, Malcolm Gladwell, separates his investigation into two categories, Opportunity and Legacy, and then develops the stories of several archetypes of success. He uses examples like Bill Gates and the 18^th century railroad and newspaper tycoons to show that it’s not just about talent, intelligence, and diligence but about being at the right place (in the world, in your life) and at the right time. Then he talks about how none of that, without the proper background and cultural mindset can even work. A person’s legacy can be their ticket to success or can be a wall that stops all effort.

Peace Like a River

I read a lot of novels. I read a lot of great literature and chick lit and classics. Peace Like a River is one of those stories that I never would have picked up from a book store if I had just seen the cover, title, or dust-jacket blurb. It’s about a teenaged outlaw, his asthmatic brother, child-prodigy sister, miracle-working father, the Midwest and the badlands – none of which sound interesting to me at all. But oh, I was fooled. Because Hound of the Baskervilles is a mystery and Curious Incident is narrated so unusually by an autistic boy, Peace Like a River felt like the only “proper novel” we read during summer book camp. Together, my students and I fell in love with the 8 year old Swede, a budding writer who composes epic poetry about Sunny Sundance and his rides through the old west. We were captivated by the whole novel – uncanny as it may be. We were disappointed that we only had a week and a half to spend on the whole thing.

Life of Pi

This novel played a big role on the New York Times Bestseller list a few years back but, again, based on the back of the paperback I really didn’t see myself getting into it. The basic plot is that a young Indian boy and his family are sailing to the US with a zoo-full of animals, basically a modern, Indian Noah’s arc. The ship sinks. The family dies. The boy is lost in the ocean for months, alone, except for a Bengal tiger that could kill him. Again, not my idea of some fun, relaxing reading to do when I’m done grading essays or lesson planning for Hamlet. This was also the reading assignment for my new, fall book camp; only 4 students, me and this novel. But again, I fell in love. There were so many layers of literary, cultural, spiritual, and social significance to get into. It was beautifully written, and although there was really only one human character throughout the 600 page breadth of it, it was never boring or dull. I cried and laughed out loud so many times that Joe got sick of asking me what was going on (because then I would read him 2-3 page long sections and expect him to react in a similar fashion). I know that most of the reading public in America has already read this one, but if you haven’t, please consider it.

To see my blog for students click here: Read Deep Blog

Life Like Fiction

Happiness isn't entertaining. What I mean is that being happy isn't interesting to write about. It doesn't create intrigue or suspense. It doesn't make good TV or movies. No one goes to the theatre to see happy people, they go to see drama and passion and obstacles and action. Unhappy people, or maybe I should say unsatisfied people, are the ones with the excitement, the gossip, the STORIES. People who are unsatisfied have things to write about because every event could be the first stone on a path toward satisfaction. The pursuit of happiness involves a twisted cast of players whose every action and reaction can be analyzed, dissected, observed and written about. Heartache is ever-changing and evolving.

Happiness, on the other hand, is relatively stagnant. It's wonderful and fantastic and beautiful and full of glitter and hearts and roses. It's great and I'm not complaining. But it's also calm and certain and stable. I am currently happy with consistancy. Because of this overall sense of happiness, I don't feel the urge to write about what's going on in my head nearly as much. There is no necessity for "working things out in writing." How many hours can I legitimately spend expressing joy? Answer: Not half as many as I can spend ruminating on situations that confuse or frustrate me. Writers be honest: An ambiguous text message is a much better muse than a sweet one.

So herein lies the problem.

Six or seven months ago I was truly inspired to start a novel. Between my own experiences and those of my book club friends, I had plenty of material to start a novel about modern dating life in a metropolitan (but not exactly centralized) city like San Diego. I used my time almost exclusively to read, write, and "collect ideas" about the difficulties of dating in a time when meeting a potential life partner in an organic way seems less and less likely every year. The characters were fabulous reincarnations of people I know whose statuses ranged from happily married and pregnant to dating like mad. The plan was to write about relationships in all stages and create insightful situations to express the frustrations of trying to find real, lasting happiness.

But then the worst possible thing happened to my plans - I got Plans instead. Dating someone takes all the fun out of writing funny but bitter anecdotes about dating. Suddenly instead of writing about relationships and love and the desire for intimacy, I was curled up with Plans enjoying the honeymoon months of a brand new romance. Writing and even reading have dropped down to minor priorities and the ideas I had about ridiculous pick-up lines, speed dating, wine tastings and meetings for SD Young Professionals were part of a distant memory of plans gone by.

Still, I know it can be done. Happily married people still have successful careers as authors, right? Maybe in a few months the inspiration will spark again. Maybe Plans will do something annoying or we'll pass the honeymoon stage and I'll be able to concentrate on incorporating the story about the home-tattooed, unemployed, divorced, scummy guy who hit on my friend the other day into a relatable narrative describing the Pursuit of Passion in the Big Bad World of Dating.

Eat, Pray, Love: Indonesia

(I probably should postpone my last Eat, Pray, Love post until mid-February as my book club has decided to swap our original February selection for this book and now all of my favorite quotes and ideas are already advertised, but oh well. Indonesia is more quotes I love and don't have commentary on anyway.)

Page 260

...people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment.

I love this idea. Happiness is absolutely a right for everyone, but that doesn't mean that everyone gets it. Not everyone chooses to be happy. Not everyone puts in the effort necessary to find their own happiness or maintain it. How sad but also revolutionary.

All the sorrow and trouble of this world is caused by unhappy people.

This is even worse! Just as sneezes and yawns and hiccups are contagious, our attitudes are, too. When you are around a person who complains a lot, sometimes the tendency is to compete for the spotlight. "You think that's bad? Well I have a story about something that happened to me that's worse!" Girls do this a lot because we talk and compare and rate just about everything. "Oh, your boyfriend is being a jackass? Well let me tell you about this guy I dated who was more of a jackass than your jackass!" We constantly reinforce the mood around us. Attitude is our own fault. We choose to enjoy our lives or complain about them. (This is even more reinforced by things like Facebook that ask people to post their "status" on a weekly, daily or sometimes hourly basis. I find that I look forward to reading what my positive friends have to say, whether it be about how much they enjoy their jobs, the funny things their kids have done, or some random positive thing they found about their day. On the other hand, it becomes wearisome to constantly read updates from friends who use their Facebook to status to complain about everything from the weather to the traffic.)

Page 262

The karmic philosophy appeals to me on a metaphorical level because even in one lifetime it's obvious how often we must repeat our same mistakes, banging our heads against the same old addictions and compulsions, generating the same old miserable and often catastrophic consequences, until we can finally stop and fix it. This is the supreme lesson of karma (and also of Western psychology, by the way) -- take care of the problems now, of else you'll just have to suffer again later when you screw everything up the next time. And that repetition of suffering -- that's hell. Moving out of that endless repetition to a new level of understanding -- there's where you'll find heaven.

Page 325

The Yogic sages say that all the pain of human life is caused by words, as is all the joy.

As a teacher of language who spends abundant time literally jumping up and down trying to convince 15 year-olds that words are important, ALL words are important, I am in love with this quote. I will most likely make my next poor class do a journal on it. What a profound idea. Maybe I'll even turn it into a placard in my classroom or a pillow in my house. Ugh. LOVE it!

2009 Year in Review

If 2008 was a year characterized mostly by big change I did not choose nor want (Dad's death, losing my dream teaching job after just one year), 2009 has been a year of making new choices for changes I want. 2008 was a year of survival until my trip to Argentina for Habitat for Humanity. That trip in many ways gave me the release I needed to start a new life for myself, to decide what I really want in order to be happy. After 11 months of grief and disappointment, it was time to change my perspective.

In December/January, I was convinced that in order to be happy, I had to effectively traumatize myself out of my comfort zone by completely uprooting and moving to a new country. I thought that if I had the courage to move to England, I would come back with the confidence to find the life I really wanted here.

I had a lot of free time during those months (5 sub days in about 10 weeks...) and I used it to read, write, and generally figure out what exactly I envision for myself in the big picture. I read and re-read Eat, Pray, Love; He's Just Not That Into You; A Return to Love. I watched Oprah. I made a vision board. (If you don't have one, get one!) Slowly, I began to change the way I look at my own life, my own choices, my own attitude. I began to break out of the patterns that had kept me lock

ed in my house for nearly a year.

(The vision board includes my goals for my life in the areas of

romance/home, travel, teaching, world citizenship, family, and self.)

The goals for 2009?

1. Be happier with myself as a person.

2. Be more social.

3. Find ways to feel worthwhile and satisfied that are not related to employment.

At first I thought I had to go out and find new friends; a daunting and unpleasant prospect. In the meantime, I wanted to be more consistent about the friends I already had. My credential friends and I started having monthly "Diva Dinners" to catch up. I started a book club without having any idea of how beneficial it would be for me to reconnect with people from high school. How was I to know that having those people in my life again would accomplish my exact goal of "making new friends?" I didn't need *new* friends, I needed people who knew and understood me already. I needed the Divas and the Lady Longhorns.

A year ago, I would've expected to have entirely new friends, a new place to live, a completely new life at this point. Instead, I have old friends, a home filled with love and support and family, and a life I had all along but am so much happier to be living now. The bullet points of my life right now don't seem like much (unemployed 26-year-old who still lives at home and is rapidly running out of savings money to live on...), but in reality I am just so undeniably happy. I live with my best friend. I am friends with my sister and get to spend time with her regularly. I have a boyfriend who makes me feel confident and happy and excited. I have learned to be happy with the accomplishments of every day tasks, rather than feeling like a failure because I don't have the job I want. If this is my starting point, I can only hope that 2010 will be even better.

Wishing everyone the peace and hope and happiness I feel this season.

Daunting

New day, new struggle. I have now told far too many people that I have started work on a novel. (If I hadn't already told you, well, I guess now you know...) But getting back into the saddle of writing isn't quite as easy as I'd expected. You know that saying "it's like riding a bicycle..."? Well it turns out that does not apply to everything. I sit in front of my computer screen or with my journal and a pen and sometimes the words come out no problem. But other times... It's like picking my French Horn up after not playing for 7 years - both entirely familiar and entirely foreign.

I have overwhelmed myself now. I find the whole process daunting, to be honest, because I want so badly to do it well.

Problems I am faced with on the particular project I have chosen? There are several.

I have envisioned a sort of Sex in the City set in San Diego with 5 female characters based on the most consistent members of my book club. This puts my potential novel squarely in the "Chick Lit" category - a genre that is stereotypically formulaic and unrealistic. I can accept that to an extent, but since my characters are based on real people that I really care about I do not want to turn any of them into caricatures. However, the characters are still fiction and need to be separated from their real-life counterparts. But how much should be fiction, how much non-fiction?

Problem #1: How do I give the characters recognizable features of a real person without attributing every neurosis of that person to fiction?

Problem #2: Defining the scope and goals of the novel as a whole. Even in flitty, awful chick lit there are always a few key issues that are neatly wrapped up by the end. Right now I have a series of personality traits and singular events, but I'm still brainstorming the ways to pull those things together into one cohesive narrative. You can't sell a novel that is just a collection of random experiences between girlfriends, even if the dialog IS witty and insightful.

Problem #3: Defining each character's individual "voice" so that we don't overlap. So often in this type of novel the way that authors get around this problem is by categorizing their characters into predetermined archetypes - the bitch, the disapproving one, the pretty boy, the gay best friend, the slutty/flirtatious coworker. I really don't want my characters to be so superficial that someone could write a facebook quiz about them like they do about Sex in the City: "OMG! I'm such a Carrie!"

So I'm following the most common recommendation I've gotten so far: Read. Read everything in the genre. Readreadread. And now suddenly everything I would do normally has become "research." The characters go to the gym and the movies and out to clubs and bars and get hit on by ridiculous men and sexy men and nervous men. The characters make great decisions concerning their careers and stupid decisions concerning relationships. Or vice versa. They talk to each other - a lot. (Be on alert, oh girlfriends mine, my ears are perked up for good dialog.)

And now, sigh, I must return to either writing or reading and stop using my blog as an avoidance tool.

Happy

It feels weird to just say it like this, but right now I'm really happy. For months I've been trying to be upbeat, positive, and optimistic. I was really trying to live in a way that would bring positive results. Fall was kind of rough because of the whole no-real-job thing, but Argentina realigned my priorities. When I got back I really started to take my vow to pursue the life I really want to live and take opportunities as they become available more seriously. Now it feels like everything is coming together and my life is beginning to look the way I've wanted it to for a long time. Here are some reasons for my current good mood:

* Social Life - I'm reconnecting with old friends via the book club. I've repaired an old friendship recently. I'm going to my third Young Dems event this week and am starting to feel more comfortable doing this on my own. My credential friends (The Divas) and I have established a pattern and are actually seeing each other with relative frequency. I feel like I'm doing things.

* Work - I actually got two days of sub work last week. One more and I will have worked more in February than all of January already. I don't really like single-day substituting because of my theory that it's basically the same thing as waking up and realizing that the naked-at-school dream is your actual life, but at least it's work. Plus, every day I'm one day closer to my second long-term position and I'm really looking forward to that.

* Reading - All this time I spend not working means a lot of time to read. I've been reading a lot of political news and this week I actually read a book again (the first in a while - The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perrotta). I always find that I'm calmer, happier, and generally more amiable when I have a book to read. Reading centers me. This book club is part of that, too. Plus it makes me feel smart.

* Music - I'm actually playing my instrument again. After years of talking about wanting to go back to it, I've actually started practicing and I already notice some of the ability coming back. Don't get me wrong, at this point I completely suck in comparison to what I used to be able to do, but I don't care because I really enjoy it. Seriously. I can play about an octave and a half and overall it sounds pretty bad but I'm just so freakin' happy the whole time that it doesn't even matter.

* Exercise - I'm really proud of myself for how much work I've been doing. I feel healthy and happy that I'm doing something for myself. I worked out 6 times this week. That's awesome!

Last year I told my students that if I didn't get a full time contract I would spend this year doing all the things I don't have the time or energy to do when I'm teaching. It now feels completely true. I'm just so HAPPY! Leave comments, that makes me happy, too. Oh! And listen to all the new songs on the playlist I added. :)

Book Club

Okay, so I'm totally excited. Ever since I got back from Argentina I've been totally obsessed with Facebook, a phenomenon that has not been true of my life since the last semester of college when it was brand new at LMU. Because of this I have reconnected with some of the most unlikely people and really seem to be bringing old friends back into my life. Case in point: several girls I went to high school with and I have decided to form a book club. First we just gushed about how addictive the Twilight series is, but it seems like we're all looking for reading buddies and the kind of literary conversations we got to have in senior English class and haven't had anyone to do this with. I like this book club development for three reasons: 1) Reading for fun, not work, and on a consistent basis. 2) Reconnect with old friends - always fun. 3) Create NEW topics of conversation with old friends, an essential part or else it's just rehashing of high school dramas, reminiscing and old inside jokes and all of that can only last so long before it's just awkward. I'm optimistic right now, so let's hope this actually works the way I want it to.