TBT: Wedding Two!

The part of our wedding that Joe and I were most looking forward to was seeing our friends and family all together in one place, socializing and enjoying each other. We were lucky enough to have lots of people travel long distances for our event and we were excited to catch up with people we hadn't seen in a long time. Unfortunately, our reception was cut drastically short for reasons that most of you already know. Since we both left the event while dinner was still being served, we felt we had lost the "party part" of our special gathering, the part with the music and drinking and dancing and fun. We decided right away that, especially because we'd be away for the next year and our wedding was also a sort of going-away event, that we would host a second celebration with whoever could join us before we left for Europe.

On August 10, 4 weeks after our "big wedding" we celebrated "Wedding Two" at the newly-opened Stone Brewing World Bistro at Liberty Station (Point Loma, San Diego). While this event did not include the dancing part that we missed during our reception, it did satisfy our desire to spend healthy, happy time with our friends and family before we left on our big adventure. We are grateful to all the people who came out for the second (or third or fourth) time to celebrate our marriage with us. We are now, officially, super-duper married.

For the more casual space, I wanted a relaxed feel with more informal decor from our big wedding. We pulled out our 6 timeline panels as our main decoration, rented a few table runners, and got our wedding florist (Bethany at Splendid Sentiments) to do some miniature versions of our centerpieces. Plus a Sprinkles Cupcakes tower with the leftover stripe-pattern stickers and bookmarks added to the festivity. 

We reserved the entire bocce ball courtyard for the afternoon.
It was the perfect size for our event of 30+ people.

Many of us put our wedding day outfits back on - what other bride gets to wear her dress twice?

A healthy, happy, sociable groom!

a calm, happy, sociable bride (who's willing to drink red wine)!

Joe and his Best Man, Matt

Groomsman John with his girlfriend Vanessa, the bride and groom

yeah, my bustle totally broke at wedding one and our rigging only last 20 minutes at wedding two... oh well, guess I'll just walk around like this:

Classy!

The ribbon wraps for our napkins at wedding one became a sort of symbol
during the days afterward, like Livestrong bracelets or breast cancer ribbons.
Luckily for us, our situation was not that serious and everyone is healthy now.

 

We got to do our toasts! (Unfortunately, my Maid of Honor couldn't make it out from Arizona, so Alicia stepped in. Since I was MOH for both of their weddings, it still seemed appropriate.)

And we got to do our cake cutting! (Although some people are still annoyed that we didn't announce this moment, so it was just us and our photographer, Cheryl.)

Six of the ten members of our wedding party were able to join us again, a pretty good turn out for short notice and people who live all over the country.

our moms

Stone Crew 

Newlyweds (again)

A beautiful, calm, San Diego day

London List

Joe and I have been brainstorming the list of places we want to see and things we want to do during our year abroad. Here's what we have so far, although we know already that a lot is yet to be added to this list.

Places

1.        All four countries in the United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland)

2.        Abbey Road

3.        Amsterdam, Netherlands

4.        Austria

5.        Budapest, Hungary

6.        Cambridge

7.        Croatia

8.        Denmark

9.        Dublin, Ireland

10.    Finland

11.    France

12.    Germany

13.    Italy

14.    Normandy

15.    Norway

16.    Paris, France

17.    Prague, Czech Republic

18.    Russia

19.    Stonehenge

20.    Stratford-Upon-Avon

21.    Sweden

22.    Switzerland

Activities

23.         live orchestra performance

24.         live singer/band

25.         live dramatic performance

26.         live soccer game

27.         live other sporting event

28.         Ride the London Eye

29.         Travel by boat

30.         Travel by train

31.         Formal High Tea

32.         Cooking class

33.         Bike tour of a major city

34.         Volunteer with the Ministry of Stories

35.         Hike 10+ miles somewhere

36.         Harry Potter studio set tour

37.         Find a bridge – add a love padlock

38.         London Museum of Natural History

39.         Take a spontaneous vacation

40.         Use all of the fruits/vegetables that come in a VegBox

41.         Ride a Double-Decker Bus

42.         Something historically Pink Floyd

43.         Drive “British”

44.         Brewery tour

45.         Holi festival

46.         IceBar London

47.         Flying Fantastic class

48.         Anne Frank’s house

49.         Van Gogh/Rembrandt museums

50.         Dutch flowers/tulips

51.         Oktoberfest

52.         Hay-on-Wye book festival

53.         Poznan’s lantern festival on June 21 in Poland

54.         Do a London photoshoot

55.         Buy something Burberry flagship store

56.         Host an American Thanksgiving

57.         Collect a British HP set and an international set (each book in a different language and from a different country)

58.         Go ice-skating

Mammoth

For several years, Joe has taken a trip with his family to Mammoth at the end of the summer. I've never been able to join him because I've been working, but this year he made a big deal about making sure I could come with him. He would deny it, but this is why:

The description of the trip is mostly hiking, being out of breath because of altitude, hiking, hiking, playing games, and hiking. Instead of a play by play, I offer these highlight photos:

Reschans: Uncle Rob, Aunt Terri, Ryan, and Joe

The Five Year Plan

I've been pretty tight-lipped lately about the progress of certain plans for travel, work, grad school - basically all of the parts of my life that make up the blog's title. In January, I explained my reluctance to say too much based on the fact that nothing I've imagined for my life in the next few years is set, none of it is permanent. I didn't want to commit anything to writing in case it didn't work out as I'd hoped. I didn't want grad school plans to be the Teach-in-England prep posts of 2009. There are too many pieces that have to fall into exactly the right places, so I had scared myself out of writing anything at all...

Until now.

In March I received an email one morning at work. It came from a representative of University College London, the most prestigious of the five UK schools to which I applied, and said, "I am pleased to confirm that an unconditional offer of admission to the above programme of study will appear on your applicant portal shortly."

That was it. I was stunned. I'm pretty sure I turned completely white and was shaking in my chair for several minutes before I did anything else. Accepted. At one of the top universities in the world. My dream of traveling abroad for grad school could be realized.

Within a few weeks I subsequently received acceptances from all four of the other universities I had applied to as well: King's College London, Queen Mary, Roehampton, and Kingston. If I wanted to do this, I would have my pick of university programs.

Thus started a series of very serious conversations with Joe. Only a few weeks after I started receiving this good news, Joe got a job he'd very much wanted and started working. This, if anything could, complicated our plans. I didn't want to make Joe leave a job he loved for my dreams; it wasn't fair to ask that of him. So we discussed several options that included all of our priorities for the next several years of our shared life: marriage, careers, education, babies, home ownership - all of it. 

The way we saw it, we had 4 options. I don't really remember the particulars of the first three now, but the plan we called Option Four became our favorite for a variety of reasons. This plan included:
- Joe stays at his new job for 1+ year (instead of 4 months)
- I keep working at my job and continue saving $$
- Get married in 2013, instead of waiting until we get back from the UK to get engaged
- Defer enrollment for one year and leave for London in summer 2013
- Joe travels on a spouse visa so that he does not have to spend the $$ to go to post production school, since he's not sure he wants to actually work in post production

This is why I couldn't post. I didn't know how to talk about any of this until I knew that all parts of the plan were really going to happen. I didn't want to post that Joe and I had decided to get married before we'd officially gotten engaged. I didn't want to post that I'd been accepted to 5 universities in London until I was ready to explain the deferment and could deal with the repercussions that would come if my boss found out. And then I'd gotten myself so freaked out that I felt like I couldn't post any of these pieces of news - incredibly positive and exciting decisions in my life that I am thrilled with and truly believe are going to be awesome choices for Joe and I and our goals together - because I didn't want to seem like I was bragging or full of myself or acting like I'd done something incredible when I really hadn't done anything at all yet. For probably the first time in my life, humility took over and I couldn't tell people anything that was going on that might make me sound better than I really deserved. I hadn't (and still haven't) done anything incredible yet.

So I didn't publish anything. I didn't blog. I didn't put anything on facebook.

But I wanted to. I wanted to make a status update every time I received an acceptance letter. I wanted to gush to anyone who would listen that Joe and I had decided to get married. I wanted to write and write and write about it all. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Since then I have had MANY other blog post-y events that need to be written still. Please stay tuned for:

- A week in Scotland
- A week in Mammoth
- A proposal (oh yes, that kind)
- the new plan as laid out in Option Four

On Budgeting

Probably the part of this crazy let's-move-to-London-on-student-visas plan that gives me the most anxiety is just how we're going to pay for it. London is widely acknowledged as one of the most expensive cities in the world. (Even if it did slip from #17 to #18 between 2010 and 2011.) A cursory search of tiny, poorly-appointed flats online has lead me to believe we'll be lucky to get out for under $2000 in rent per month for a shoebox. And while my new job is better-paying than any teaching job I've ever had, I've had to amp up my commuting costs (despite my Prius) and have struggled to meet my savings goals each month. Joe and I both need to get realistic about this one, as it really could be the final say in whether or not we get to have this big adventure: how could we be saving more??

photo from www.dailymoneysaving.com

We cut out some of the obvious expenses from last year - no flights or big trips are planned. But we still eat out more than we should, both separately and together. I still buy clothes and have my eye on not one, but two pairs of $80+ flats at Nordstroms. I fear that we aren't being serious enough about stepping up our frugality, challenging ourselves to save not the minimum to meet our modest savings goals, but instead daring ourselves to put away every possible penny we can. It's something we have to dedicate ourselves to. If we don't, we'll still be living in SoCal next fall, wondering if that extra drink out with friends was really worth it...

Times Tables

I've got London on the brain in a major way. This whole idea of moving abroad, just like before, is intoxicating to me. It makes me feel adventurous and glamorous and smart. And honestly, it gives me an option that feels like it might well fit right now. 


I've posted before about the difference between what a girl expects her life to look like at a certain age and what it actually ends up looking like. I, for example, had hoped Joe and I would be engaged by our two-year anniversary, married by three years, and having a baby when we're both 30, four years into our relationship. In my head that was the natural progression of things, not because we are ready to get married (we're not) or because we actually want a baby that soon (I'm not sure we do), but because that's just how things go. My parents did it that way (or at least similar to that way). But honestly, neither of us is ready to be in the place I thought we'd be right now. My more recent revelation is that that's okay with me.


Lately I've started to feel pressure due to my prescribed time table that is entirely self-inflicted. I've been anxious because there are so many things I still want to do with Joe before we have children, but I read articles about getting pregnant after the age of 30 and they completely panic me. A few months ago I was talking to two of my girlfriends, one married, one not. The other non-married person and I were talking about how long we want to be with our boyfriends until we want to get married and we were both somewhat taken aback when the married friend asked, "But why are you counting?" We were both stunned. What did she mean? She explained that she didn't understand the tradition of celebrating month and year anniversaries before marriage or tying certain events or stages in the relationship to a number of months or years. It made sense. If I didn't think that Joe and I *should* be ready for marriage at two years, would I actually think we are ready? No. So what the hell am I doing to myself?

I still want to see so much of the world. I still want to do something adventurous. I'm such a worry-wort, scaredy-cat, planner-organizer that I don't really give myself the opportunity to be spontaneous. London is one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in. Literally. That scares me. And it's probably not the most responsible thing to do in these tough economic times. Neither, honestly, is going back to school and incurring school-loan debt. But there are things in life that are more valuable than money. I have to decide if I'm going to live up to the subtitle of this blog or not.