You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.
After my Dad died, my Mom and I made a conscious effort to "think positively" as much as possible. We were in the middle of the most intense grief either of us had ever experienced (very different types of grief, of course, but still) and we knew that if we didn't deliberately choose positive thoughts over our negative ones, we would each slip into a dangerous depression. It takes a lot of practice to control your own thoughts like that, but I wrote many journal entries trying to focus on the things for which I was thankful instead of the things about my life I wished I could change. For example:
Journal entry from 11/3/2008: "Substituting is not the ideal situation, but I get to go to work every day in a place where I hang out with teenagers and talk about books. For better or worse I am a teacher and this job allows me to keep doing that. I'm lucky to be so sure of my purpose and to have a passion that so readily translates into a career."
After 2 years of practice it has become much easier to think positively. (Plans is even better at it than I am and the reinforcement of being around him and always finding the "bright side" also helps.) Even more than that, it has become harder to be around people who do not try to find the positive in their own lives. The phenomena of Facebook is that people are constantly projecting themselves to the world. I can't help but start to categorize my Facebook contacts into The Complainers and The Thankful. I am drawn to the people who find joy in their lives, especially in small things. I grow weary of people who consistently choose to post status updates that are negative. When I want to whine about something that went wrong in my life that day, I try to get a little perspective and then post the "bright side" instead. From A Return To Love: "Love in your mind produces love in your life. This is the meaning of heaven. Fear in your mind produces fear in your life. This is the meaning of hell."
The more you repeat negative thoughts, the more powerful they become. The more you concentrate on finding beauty and joy in your environment, the easier they become to spot. I could complain that my boyfriend lives in another state, that I am financially dependent on my parent, that I had to get a second job and I don't have the career I want yet. But instead I am happy that I have people in my life who love me, that I live with my best friend, that I still get to function as a teacher even if it's not in the most ideal way, and that I am healthy and living in a beautiful place. (And when I'm getting away from these thoughts, which happens often enough, I revisit the Vision Board. The vision board is ALL positive. Again, "If you don't have one, get one!")
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There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in life -- whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on the occasions when I can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I'm feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.
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