Teenagers Say The Darndest Things

Just two new additions to this recurring post, both from one class and about 1 week apart:

Just as I had finally silenced the entire room and gotten everyone working on their state tests, one student asks aloud in (literally) the middle of the room: "What's compassion?" Now, I know you're hearing a sweet, young voice. You're picturing the wide eyes of an innocent youth asking a profound question. Stop it. No, the reality of this was a sometimes-arrogant 15-year-old boy, interrupting EVERYONE around him, and asking me to define a word he didn't understand without even TRYING to figure it out for himself. He asked it less like "What is the meaning of life?" and more like "Ew, why would you eat vegetables when you can have pizza?"

Calmly, I responded that I am not allowed to define words during standardized testing, so he should try to figure it out based on the context. Pause, pause. Same student: "Where's the context?" Me, with lost patience: weeeeeeping

******

On another day in the same class I was making the rounds to check on individual students and make sure they were all on task/ knew how to handle the assignment. One student, a tall, fun-loving and charming baseball player, stops me.

Student: Ms. Cocita, have you noticed that we have the same nose?

Me: (taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered) No Student, I hadn't, but I guess you're right.

Student: I think you're my mom.

Me: (smirk, pause) Student, I can assure you that I am not your mom.

Student: Are you sure??

Me: Yes, Student, I would've had to have been about 12 to be your mom.

Student: (thoughtful pause...) Nope. I think you're my mom.

Me: Okay. I'm gonna walk away now and pretend this didn't happen, okay?

Student: (joyfully, as if nothing weird at all has happened) Okay. :)