Scotland

Over a year ago now, when I was out of work, panicked, and looking for a way to focus my energy, I started writing a paper on a piece of literature I knew could get me back into the swing of academic reading and writing: the Harry Potter series. In the process of applying for graduate school I knew I would have to submit a sample piece of writing; I also knew that nothing I had written in college or grad school before would accurately portray the kind of work I wanted to do during this foray back into  academia. I had a theory and I wanted to pursue it. So I planned, read, went to university libraries all over San Diego, and wrote page after page.

About a month or so into this process I started thinking about the problem with academic writing in liberal arts: it is done in a vacuum, often with no connection at all to the wider world of academics or even literature as it is used outside of universities, and it is done without express purpose. I figured that if I wanted a purpose, I would look for one. So I searched CFPs for young adult literature and Harry Potter, hoping that I could find some conference somewhere that I could write for, with no real intention of submitting my writing at all. But then, I found it -  A Brand of Fictional Magic: Reading Harry Potter as Literature. The very first fully academic, literary conference entirely devoted to Harry Potter. In St. Andrews, Scotland, at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Abstracts due by Halloween, no pun intended.

I sent my abstract as a whim, mostly to keep my writing on track and give myself purpose. Less than a month later I got an email saying my paper on reading the last three books of the series as an entrance into dystopia had been accepted. I was shocked. Now, I just had to figure out how I could get there. There was no option or whim present now - I had to go.

It took months to write my paper and at 36 pages, it still feels incomplete to me. There is so much to say, so many nuances to examine, so many questions to answer. I was lucky that over the course of my composition phase I had people around me (my colleage, Mr. Elfman in particular), who could listen to my theories and find the discrepancies in them. I had the luxury of time to develop my ideas and hone my style. Then, when it came time to cut the entire text down to something that could be read in 10-15 minutes, I had enough courage to slash more than half of the paper, delete lines, and cut almost all of the background.
The conference itself was an unreal experience. I was surrounded by such brilliant literary scholars with deep and intriguing ideas I'd never considered before. It was enlightening and refreshing, exciting and overwhelming, and exactly the push I needed to remind me why I want to go back to school at all. Eight years after completing my bachelor's degree in literature, I am so ready to return to academia to recharge my batteries and renew my passion for literature. (Just for a little extra taste, here's keynote speaker John Granger's synopsis of the conference.)

Mom and I outside the St. Andrews University building where the conference was held.

Afterwards, all fifty of the conference speakers were invited to submit their papers to be published in a compilation book. Again, it was a whim. Again, I was stunned when I found out I was accepted. Of the fifty papers, about a dozen are in the process of being turned into a book and mine is one of them. If I weren't still so overwhelmed by this, I'd be hollering from the rooftops.

From the right: kilt, kilt, kilt, pajama pants, kilt towel, no really.

Scotland, itself, was a surreal experience, too. I got off the plane and was paralyzed with fear (as I almost always am the moment I realize what I've gotten myself into). The trip came less than a month after Joe and I had chosen Option 4 and I knew that I would actually be MOVING to the UK for a year with him. We were in Edinburgh for a few days before taking a train to St. Andrews. It was beautiful and historical and a lot more interesting than I expected, especially since I was on the plane before I realized that I really hadn't done any travel research at all for this trip. Beyond eating so much sugar, fat, and white flour in the first 24 hours to make me sick (so that I had to sleep it off for HOURS at the hotel), we enjoyed everything about Edinburgh. Views? Awesome. Weather? Held up well for the forecast. Kilt shopping? Don't mind if we do.

St. Andrews was small, freezing, and everything closed at 5 pm. We ate dinner at the same restaurant 2/3 nights. But the conference was so amazing that it didn't matter. I do understand now why Rowling put Azkaban prison in the middle of the North Sea. Weather forecast for one of the days = 42 degrees, real feel 26. Yikes.

One additional highlight? Fantasy grocery shopping, wherein Mom and I wander the aisles of Marks and Spencer pretending that we're shopping for groceries for my London flat where I live with Joe while attending University. We even planned a dinner party based on the things we found, and oh man, my fantasy dinner party was awesome!