"Let's talk about culture shock. Specifically, let's talk about reverse culture shock.
Less than 24 hours after return:
Everything is HUGE. And overwhelming. Joe is thrilled to be home but I'm not so sure. After 3.5 weeks traveling in Croatia, Slovenia, and Italy, I really just wanted the short flight back to London and our tiny, tiny flat. 14+ hours of flying means everything feels weird when you land. LAX is my old stomping grounds - my uni and my old apartment are visible from the runways, but it still just felt weird.
Also, parking lots. I don't know why but these stick out for me. I haven't seen a real parking lot in almost a year. In London I often wondered where people who had cars ever put their cars when they were out. No parking lots, no parking structures, not even a lot of street parking. California is the opposite. All I see are massive parking lots in front of massive stores. Stores I have always loved (Target, Costco, Ikea) but still. Everything seems so HUGE right now. I was originally planning a visit to the mall but I've backed out because it sounds WAY too overwhelming."
So now that we've been home for 5 months, here is a look back at our adventure.
Time Away: 336 days
Countries Visited: 20
Visitors from Home: 5
Checkmarks on our London & Beyond List: 63/85
In case you need a refresher, here is our original list of goals:
Cities
Cambridge, England
Geneva, Switzerland
Normandy, France
Salzburg, Austria
Stratford-Upon-Avon, England
Wales (not sure where yet)
Tours & Activities
Charles Darwin landmark
Cider mill tour
Debussy landmark (France)
Drive “British”
Flying Fantastic class
Go ice-skating
Hike 10+ miles somewhere
Holi festival
Issaac Newton landmark
Led Zeppelin landmark
live other sporting event (tennis, cricket, rugby)
live soccer game
London Museum of Natural History
Pink Floyd landmark
Richard Dawkins event
St. Paul’s Cathedral
I'm quite proud of this list, actually. We didn't tick off every item, but what this list doesn't reflect is our shifting priorities the longer we were away. Certain items were completed multiple times or in ways that make me really proud. Some things were skipped because by the end we realized we didn't really care to make them a priority. Other items became priorities later on (cocktails in London, picnicking in Waterlow park, etc) but were never added to the official list.
We didn't just travel by train to say we did it, we travelled by train to get ourselves through Spain, and from Hungary to Austria to Germany, and all around Italy. We took miniature adventures every time we changed cities because we always did it without the convenience and comfort of a car. As native Southern Californians, that was a big deal. I'm proud of the way we adjusted to using public transportation.
I'm also proud that we took advantage of London - we went to museums, we tried things, we bought tickets to shows and performances, we saw advertisements on the Tube and then actually sought out those events and participated. We aren't big city people. Participating in the life of the city was a big deal.
Certain places were skipped because that was the pragmatic decision. Greece and Poland were cut before we even committed the list to paper. Switzerland was cut very early on. But what this list doesn't show is all of the places and items we added along the way. Barcelona was on the list, but in the process we also went to Seville and Cordoba and Granada. We cut Salzburg because of rain, but we added Scotland almost at the last minute and it was one of our most relaxing getaways. Brussels was almost cut but then we got to do it with Ryan when he visited, which was even better. I didn't go to Shakespeare's birthplace (Stratford), but I did go to his birthday party.
Since we've been back, one of the questions we get most often is What was your favorite part? Really, it depends on my mood. On different days, I miss different facets of this adventure. Memories of the many places we went and things we did are sparked constantly and I miss London every single day. I think that I will for the rest of my life.
It's hard to explain to people what a year away feels like. We slid back into our normal life again, and it was both harder and easier than I'd expected. We came back broke, so we lived separately with our mothers for almost 4 months before we were financially viable enough to get our own place again. On the other hand, I was back to work teaching high school full time only 3.5 weeks after we landed in California from Rome. Since I was still writing my dissertation for my MA program, it felt like I was living two different lives at once - my London life as a student was still going while my California life as a teacher was in full swing already. I spent August and September mentally and emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. Being back in California felt both normal and completely uncomfortable at the same time.
After spending nearly all of my time exclusively with my husband for more than 11 months, we were living apart and had to plan to see each other almost like when we started dating. The logistics of moving out of the country and then back in aren't what people talk about. In London, there were things about my life here that I missed every single day. Now that we're back, there are parts of the life we made there that I will miss every single day. (It doesn't help that I see bits of London in so many of the movies and TV shows I watch. Or maybe it does help. I'm not really sure.) Our life here picked up where we'd left off in a way that was almost seamless, but I feel different in my life now than I would have if we hadn't gone. Maybe that was the point.
I don't know what my favorite part of our year away was. I can't tell you which city was my favorite. Sometimes they all were. Sometimes I wish I could be eating in Budapest or sitting on the deck in Split or walking through the rain in Dublin and other times I'm happy to get good Mexican food and drive my car. Sometimes none of the places we visited compares to the one place we lived (and then I miss London so much I could cry). Sometimes the part I miss most is our friends (which was true in London, too). Sometimes I miss the impromptu visits to Brewdog on the way home from school. Sometimes it's British food and Camden High Street and sometimes it's the ride on the 214 and the walk from our bus stop to our little, little flat. In our three-story townhouse now, sometimes the 1700+ square feet feel like way too much and I miss our little one-bedroom home where the full-sized bed touched the walls on three sides. Sometimes I miss exploring a new city with Joe and having nothing on our schedule but whatever we wanted to see or do there that day. Sometimes I'm just happy to be home, doing a job I love (and missed terribly for 3 years), and living close enough to see friends we've had since high school. Sometimes the London Instagram feed features a picture that includes the 24 bus or Gower Street and I miss the life I had there so badly. Then I discover that I can get mocha lattes at Coffee Bean and I don't feel so far from London anymore. There's always been a travel Sarah that was more independent and spontaneous and brave than regular Sarah, and London brought me closer to merging the two.
The adventure was big but it was also small. The parts I think about are bus rides and tea shops and restaurants we found in cities all over Europe. I think about the time I spent alone and feeling comfortable by myself for maybe the first time ever. I wouldn't go to the movies by myself here, but I did there and it made me feel independent. I think about all of the beauty and history and the way it mixed in with feeling lonely and cold and happy and brave and accomplished. I think about the fact that I wanted to go on a big adventure and that somehow, my husband and I actually did it.
The truth is, I don't know how to answer the small talk questions about our adventure. The whole experience is way too big for small talk answers.
