Try Something New

Okay, so here I go. I have submitted my CV to Bluewave International and thus started the process of applying for teaching jobs in the UK for fall 2009. Eeek! The whole experience, starting just over a month ago with a silly idea that wouldn't go away, is both exhilarating and utterly terrifying. What am I getting myself into?

I've never considered myself adventurous, really, but since I've started slipping into conversation the idea that I may move away from everything and everyone I know to try to create a brand new life 8,000 miles away, most everyone has acted like they expected as much. Anyone I hoped would talk me out of it, hasn't. They keep using words like "brave," and "adventure," and "wonderful opportunity," and "exciting." Yes, the idea of combining my two passions - teaching and traveling - is all of these things, but it's also overwhelming and scary and absolutely the most risky thing I've ever considered doing.

So, blogging. I've been searching all over for some insight into what this decision could really mean for me. Many other Bluewave teachers have blogs, so I've been reading whatever I could find in an attempt to learn what it is really like to move to an entirely new place, work in an English school, live in the UK, teach British kids, be away from my entire support system, and survive. Some have been helpful, some funny, some both. But mostly I just don't see myself in the other writers. They aren't my age or they aren't close to their families like I am or they just enjoy moving to new places for kicks. I'm not like that. I don't like change. I've gotten better at dealing with it, but I don't enjoy going out of my comfort zone. The experiences I have with going to different countries for extended periods of time (Spain, Argentina) both involved flying alone (scary!) but being greeted by a group of people who all immediately became my very best friends. I had a schedule and a place to stay and meals and friends all as soon as I got off the plane. This wouldn't be like that. And all the bloggers out there just seem happy when they get off the plane. They seem excited and eager and not at all anxious. I think I'll feel lost and alone. For goodness sakes, I was so wound up with anxiety when I arrived in Spain that I threw up. And I practically burst into tears waiting for the Habitat affiliate in Argentina. So where's the how-to blog on how to deal with that? I think I may have to be the one to write it...