For example,
There's the 10th grade boy I had in 4th period this semester who, without fail, always said, "Bye Ms. C, I hope your arms get better!" before leaving class every day. Of course my wrist surgery was 3 months ago now so the sentiment is appreciated but kind of superfluous, but that doesn't really matter.
There's the girl who comes in during 6th period every day and inevitably says something along the lines of, "Ms. C are you stressed? You look tense today." When I tell her that, no, really I feel fine and I'm having a good day, she usually tells me that I really should go to a spa and get a massage so that I can relax. I think this is hilarious since I'm really much more laid back now than I was at her age when stress was such a part of my daily life that I really didn't know how to sit still.
There's the student who has been bugging me about his D+/C- borderline grade for about 6 weeks because he "really, really, really" needs to get a C. Our conversation goes like this:
Student: Ms. C I really need to get a C in this class. What can I do?
Me: Your work. Do your work.
(student shuffles around uncomfortably)
Student (in email 2 days before the end of school): Ms. C I really need to get a C in this class. What can I do?
Me (in email back): Your work. Do your work. You didn't turn in several big assignments. Bring them in for half credit. Do well on the final. Read the book.
Student (on the day of the final, without any work to turn in): So here's what I'm thinking... (my inner-monologue: Good grief...) What if I wrote an essay about how bad procrastination is to bring to you tomorrow? Then could I get a C?
Me: So what you're saying is, you didn't do your work so you want me to do EXTRA work so that you can get the grade you want? Really now?
Student: Well no... but... umm... yes?
(The next day)
Student: Ms. C I really need to get a C in this class. What can I do?
Me: Did you bring your work?
Student: Well no, but... what do you want me to do? I'll do anything. I have to have a C.
Me: Obviously not. If you really wanted a C you would have done your work.
Student: But what do you want me to do?
Me: YOUR WORK!
Strangely I find this whole exchange perversely entertaining. Frustrating, yes, but also quite funny to tell at social gatherings.
