Friday, March 12, 2010

Dear Universe (2)

Two things:

1) Thank you for removing the kindergartener from my tutoring service. I knew we were on the same page. Now, please do not replace him with another one.

2) It has been exactly one year since the accident that fractured both of my wrists. Besides this worm of a scar on my wrist (which I can actually see shrinking - finally!) and a few funny stories about what it's like to have two broken wrists at the same time, it's like it never happened. Nice. But Universe, I will never take my functioning joints for granted again. Thanks again.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Mirror

I have been brainstorming for a commentary on Michael Jackson's song "Man in the Mirror" for months, maybe even a whole year. I was first reminded of this song when it was used in a unity promotional film for my alma mater last spring (the film panned through the whole school, weaving through clubs and teams and different social groups in the quad, all singing the lyrics in unison. It was awesome.) Last fall when I saw the documentary on MJ's last rehearsals, This Is It, I was moved to start collecting songs for a new classroom soundtrack to be used the next time I have students of my own. (3 years ago I created one such soundtrack for my middle schoolers that was inspired by India.Arie's "Beautiful Flower.")

First, the lyrics to the song (listen along! it's on the player at the bottom of this blog!)

Gonna make a change for once in my life.
It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference, gonna make it right.
As I turned up the collar on my favorite winter coat, this wind it blowin' my mind.
I see the kids in the street without enough to eat, who am I to be blind pretending not to see their needs?
A summer's disregard, a broken bottle's top, and one man's soul.
They follow each other on the wind, ya know, 'cause they got nowhere to go.
That's why I want you to know,
I'm starting with the man in the mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer:
If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.
I've been the victim of a selfish kind of love.
It's time that I realize there are some with no home, not a nickle to loan, could it be (really be) pretending that they're not alone.
A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart, and a washed out dream - they follow the pattern of the wind ya see, 'cause they got nowhere to be.
That's why I'm starting with me!
I'm starting with the man in the mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer:
If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. You gotta get it right while you got the time, 'cause when you close your heart then you close your mind.
...
Just lift yourself, you know, you got to stop it yourself.
Stand up and lift yourself now.
Make that change.

One of the cornerstones of my teaching philosophy is to encourage student growth and responsibility and guide my students toward lives as socially conscious citizens and overall good people. I see my work as a chance to inspire new generations to travel the world, live with a wide perspective, volunteer and think about someone other than themselves. High schoolers in general are very selfish people because their experience and range of understanding rarely extends beyond their own school or small community. I see my job as a chance to give them something else to consider, some other way to look at the global community. I see teaching as my best chance to change the world.

Many teachers are fond of the Gandhi quotation "Be the change you wish to see in the world" because it encourages people to make individual effort toward global goals. The hardest part of that idea, however, is figuring out exactly which changes matter most to you. There are a lot of problems in the world. Disease, disaster, social injustice, poverty, hunger - they are all huge concepts that are difficult to understand and solve. The question each of us should start with, then, is this: What injustice can I do something about first? What do I care about most in my own life?

For example, I think that having clear vision is a basic human right. I know firsthand how much of a difference a simple pair of eyeglasses can make in the way someone gets through their day; eyeglasses should not be a luxury. So I donate my old perscription glasses to Unite For Sight (http://www.uniteforsight.org/) and they are sent to people who need glasses but can't afford them or access proper optomotrist's care. It's an easy way I can help out an issue I see in the world.

"Service does not mean self-sacrafice. It means giving the needs of another person the same priority as our own." (Williamson 173)

What makes me more important than anyone else on this earth? What makes me entitled to a better home or food or health? Maybe I can't solve world hunger or AIDS or tsunamis and earthquakes. I'm not a divine being. I do not have spidey-powers. But even if I can't solve the problem at large, I CAN make a huge difference in the life of another person. There are 4 families in Argentina right now who have homes because I helped build them (http://www.habitat.org/). There are at least half a dozen people out there who can see better and function better in their lives because my glasses allow them to focus. There are seniors in San Diego who have food because I helped to sort it at a distribution center and food bank for impoverished elders in the community (http://www.theangelsdepot.org/). I can start with myself. I can make a difference.

"Our needs are not separate. If we contribute to another person's pain, it will always come back to haunt us. If we do what we can to help them, someone will always come around to do the same for us. It's not enough to sit idly by while others hurt, using the catchphrase 'It's not my responsibility'... as an excuse for a selfish stance." (Williamson 168)

If I can do something to help another person, isn't it my moral obligation to do it? It's so easy to fall into selfish behavior. So far, I have not made a donation to help the victims of the earthquakes in Haiti or Chile. I should, but I haven't. I could, but I haven't. I am preoccupied by the money right now. Even though I've found pretty consistent sub work this year and have some income from tutoring, I'm worried that a full time position will not be available for the next year (or maybe two or three) and I don't want to give up the lifestyle I have now. I want to be able to buy cute shoes and new clothes and hardback books. It is selfish of me and I know it. I could justify myself all day long, but that doesn't make it less selfish that I am not doing more to help people who have endured unspeakable tragedy and are in need of real assistance. As MJ says, "Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs?"

http://www.redcross.org/

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Dear Universe

I thought we already talked about this whole teaching-me-a-lesson-about-patience thing when I had to spend 6 weeks teaching rowdy 8th graders last semester! We're supposed to be even, universe! Remember? I decided to change my thinking and RIGHT THEN you (Universe) got me out of that job. Everything worked out!

But now...

In January I took a job teaching reading to students in grades 4, 5, and 6. This was a stretch for me but I needed something that could pay bills more consistently than subbing sometimes does. Ugh. I'm really not built to work with the young ones. I don't sing songs or do little dances. Ew. Gross.

And now -AND NOW! - Now I've been assigned two new students who don't even really qualify as youngin's or littluns. One kindergartener and one first grader. 5 and 6 years old! OMG. I'm gonna die.

First this: How can a kindergartener be considered "behind" in reading? How is that even possible?

Second: I teach HIGH SCHOOL. The kids I work with are 10 years older than the babies I'm supposed to practice letters with now.

When I was first assigned these embryonic students, Joe suggested that I should just think of them as "older Eva"s... I'm gonna have to try...

Wish me luck!