I've been pretty tight-lipped lately about the progress of certain plans for travel, work, grad school - basically all of the parts of my life that make up the blog's title. In January, I explained my reluctance to say too much based on the fact that nothing I've imagined for my life in the next few years is set, none of it is permanent. I didn't want to commit anything to writing in case it didn't work out as I'd hoped. I didn't want grad school plans to be the Teach-in-England prep posts of 2009. There are too many pieces that have to fall into exactly the right places, so I had scared myself out of writing anything at all...
Until now.
In March I received an email one morning at work. It came from a representative of University College London, the most prestigious of the five UK schools to which I applied, and said, "I am pleased to confirm that an unconditional offer of admission to the above programme of study will appear on your applicant portal shortly."
That was it. I was stunned. I'm pretty sure I turned completely white and was shaking in my chair for several minutes before I did anything else. Accepted. At one of the top universities in the world. My dream of traveling abroad for grad school could be realized.
Within a few weeks I subsequently received acceptances from all four of the other universities I had applied to as well: King's College London, Queen Mary, Roehampton, and Kingston. If I wanted to do this, I would have my pick of university programs.
Thus started a series of very serious conversations with Joe. Only a few weeks after I started receiving this good news, Joe got a job he'd very much wanted and started working. This, if anything could, complicated our plans. I didn't want to make Joe leave a job he loved for my dreams; it wasn't fair to ask that of him. So we discussed several options that included all of our priorities for the next several years of our shared life: marriage, careers, education, babies, home ownership - all of it.
The way we saw it, we had 4 options. I don't really remember the particulars of the first three now, but the plan we called Option Four became our favorite for a variety of reasons. This plan included:
- Joe stays at his new job for 1+ year (instead of 4 months)
- I keep working at my job and continue saving $$
- Get married in 2013, instead of waiting until we get back from the UK to get engaged
- Defer enrollment for one year and leave for London in summer 2013
- Joe travels on a spouse visa so that he does not have to spend the $$ to go to post production school, since he's not sure he wants to actually work in post production
This is why I couldn't post. I didn't know how to talk about any of this until I knew that all parts of the plan were really going to happen. I didn't want to post that Joe and I had decided to get married before we'd officially gotten engaged. I didn't want to post that I'd been accepted to 5 universities in London until I was ready to explain the deferment and could deal with the repercussions that would come if my boss found out. And then I'd gotten myself so freaked out that I felt like I couldn't post any of these pieces of news - incredibly positive and exciting decisions in my life that I am thrilled with and truly believe are going to be awesome choices for Joe and I and our goals together - because I didn't want to seem like I was bragging or full of myself or acting like I'd done something incredible when I really hadn't done anything at all yet. For probably the first time in my life, humility took over and I couldn't tell people anything that was going on that might make me sound better than I really deserved. I hadn't (and still haven't) done anything incredible yet.
So I didn't publish anything. I didn't blog. I didn't put anything on facebook.
But I wanted to. I wanted to make a status update every time I received an acceptance letter. I wanted to gush to anyone who would listen that Joe and I had decided to get married. I wanted to write and write and write about it all. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Since then I have had MANY other blog post-y events that need to be written still. Please stay tuned for:
- A week in Scotland
- A week in Mammoth
- A proposal (oh yes, that kind)
- the new plan as laid out in Option Four
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Stay Tuned
I know I've been absent from this blog for a long while, but I promise it is not for lack of news. There's a lot coming down the trail in the next few months and as soon as it is share-worthy, I won't be able to stop typing about it. Until then...
Monday, February 27, 2012
A Note on Audiobooks
Last weekend Joe and I took advantage of President's day (and it's 4-day weekend) by driving out to Arizona to visit my best friend and her family. We usually fly whenever we go anywhere, so I was concerned before our trip about how we would pass the 14+ hours in the car. We do enjoy some of the same music, but not enough to fill that many hours, so I knew I couldn't look forward to the Mamma Mia sing-along party I have when I make the same trip with my mom...
The solution we came up with was to pick an audiobook that we both wanted to read/listen to and that we could talk about. Joe suggested The Selfish Gene. I suggested 1Q84. Joe suggested The Moral Landscape. I suggested we listen to the entire, multi-season soundtrack from Glee. :) I think you can see where I'm going with this...
We finally agreed on the unabridged recording of The Lord of the Rings. The entire trilogy is almost two days worth of recording, so we would definitely be covered. And I'll say this: we are both totally loving it. We managed to get through about 9 hours of the recording during our trip and have since been listening separately - me on my commute to work and Joe before he goes to bed.
So here is my dilemma: The audiobook makes complete sense for me in the car, but listening when I don't have something to focus on with my eyes feels awkward. This weekend I had a chunk of time that I would usually devote to reading, but picking up something new while I'm still in the middle of Fellowship of the Ring felt unsatisfactory. I didn't want to start something new. I wanted to keep going in the world I had already entered. So I tried to listen to my audiobook at home. I didn't know what to do with my eyes in the meantime, so I closed them. When I opened them again, over an hour had passed and I had no idea what was going on in the book.... I tried to follow along with the printed book next, but that was weird, too. The actor who recorded the books is fantastic - he does interesting voices, emphasizes all the right stuff and has clear diction - but he's slow. When I found out that the track for "The Council of Elrond" was an hour and forty-five minutes long, I was SURE it would be at least 100 pages in the print edition. It's 31. Let's just say I wouldn't take almost 2 hours to read 31 pages. So I tried to just read the book myself. But then I missed the voices. Catch 22.
Because of my career, it is not at all unusual for me to read two or even three books at the same time (one for each grade I am teaching and one for book club or personal entertainment). But normally there's a reason why I'm reading more than one book at a time - two entertainment books seems ridiculous for some reason. So how do I deal with having an audiobook that I can't sit down and read, but not wanting to delve into a new world while I'm still in this one? Dilemma!
The solution we came up with was to pick an audiobook that we both wanted to read/listen to and that we could talk about. Joe suggested The Selfish Gene. I suggested 1Q84. Joe suggested The Moral Landscape. I suggested we listen to the entire, multi-season soundtrack from Glee. :) I think you can see where I'm going with this...
We finally agreed on the unabridged recording of The Lord of the Rings. The entire trilogy is almost two days worth of recording, so we would definitely be covered. And I'll say this: we are both totally loving it. We managed to get through about 9 hours of the recording during our trip and have since been listening separately - me on my commute to work and Joe before he goes to bed.
 |
| lotr.wikia.com |
So here is my dilemma: The audiobook makes complete sense for me in the car, but listening when I don't have something to focus on with my eyes feels awkward. This weekend I had a chunk of time that I would usually devote to reading, but picking up something new while I'm still in the middle of Fellowship of the Ring felt unsatisfactory. I didn't want to start something new. I wanted to keep going in the world I had already entered. So I tried to listen to my audiobook at home. I didn't know what to do with my eyes in the meantime, so I closed them. When I opened them again, over an hour had passed and I had no idea what was going on in the book.... I tried to follow along with the printed book next, but that was weird, too. The actor who recorded the books is fantastic - he does interesting voices, emphasizes all the right stuff and has clear diction - but he's slow. When I found out that the track for "The Council of Elrond" was an hour and forty-five minutes long, I was SURE it would be at least 100 pages in the print edition. It's 31. Let's just say I wouldn't take almost 2 hours to read 31 pages. So I tried to just read the book myself. But then I missed the voices. Catch 22.
Because of my career, it is not at all unusual for me to read two or even three books at the same time (one for each grade I am teaching and one for book club or personal entertainment). But normally there's a reason why I'm reading more than one book at a time - two entertainment books seems ridiculous for some reason. So how do I deal with having an audiobook that I can't sit down and read, but not wanting to delve into a new world while I'm still in this one? Dilemma!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
On Budgeting
Probably the part of this crazy let's-move-to-London-on-student-visas plan that gives me the most anxiety is just how we're going to pay for it. London is widely acknowledged as one of the most expensive cities in the world. (Even if it did slip from #17 to #18 between 2010 and 2011.) A cursory search of tiny, poorly-appointed flats online has lead me to believe we'll be lucky to get out for under $2000 in rent per month for a shoebox. And while my new job is better-paying than any teaching job I've ever had, I've had to amp up my commuting costs (despite my Prius) and have struggled to meet my savings goals each month. Joe and I both need to get realistic about this one, as it really could be the final say in whether or not we get to have this big adventure: how could we be saving more??
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| photo from www.dailymoneysaving.com |
We cut out some of the obvious expenses from last year - no flights or big trips are planned. But we still eat out more than we should, both separately and together. I still buy clothes and have my eye on not one, but two pairs of $80+ flats at Nordstroms. I fear that we aren't being serious enough about stepping up our frugality, challenging ourselves to save not the minimum to meet our modest savings goals, but instead daring ourselves to put away every possible penny we can. It's something we have to dedicate ourselves to. If we don't, we'll still be living in SoCal next fall, wondering if that extra drink out with friends was really worth it...
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Updates
Application Update: On Monday, I finished all 6 versions of my personal statement. Yes, 6 versions.
Work Update: Yesterday was the worst day I've had at my new job yet. Hopefully it is not the start of any sort of pattern.
Master's Program Update: Tonight I followed a link on a friend's facebook page to "Sexting Ice Breakers for English Grad Students" for laughs. Afterwards there was another link titled "An Open Letter to My Abandoned English MA Degree." I clicked it and am relieved to find that there was nothing surprising. I already know that an MA in English Literature is basically useless in the real world, costs more money than it will ever make most of us, and leads to complete dead-ends in the Land of Paying Jobs (adjunct professorships? publishing obscure papers in university journals?). Cool. I know all of this. I also had a little chuckle* when the writer made a crack about inevitably becoming a high school English teacher, because - haHA - that's actually what I want to spend my life doing, not a sad, fall-back option I'll be forced to accept when my dreams of becoming rich and famous for my theories on YA dystopia fail.
BUT, I still feel like I'm ahead of that other schmuck who got sucked into The Debt We Call Grad School because I will be getting something else out of my experience altogether. I - if everything goes according to my plans - will get to live for a year in a foreign country (awesome!) with my boyfriend (awesome!) and travel and see and do things I wouldn't do at home (totally awesome!). Really, isn't grad school just the excuse to do all that other stuff anyway?
I think it is for me, at least in some capacity, a way to live a different life for a little while. Yes, I want the degree anyway. Yes, I expect that if I ever get sick of teaching high school, I will go on to teach college or university and will need the MA as a step toward those possibilities. But doing it right now is mostly fueled by the idea that if I don't, I won't. I won't take the big step and be adventurous about it. But maybe it's better that I see grad school this way, since everyone who went into it expecting something more seems to be bitterly disappointed. Thus, this awesome Google search:
*I hate the word "chuckle" but there's nothing that works better here.
Work Update: Yesterday was the worst day I've had at my new job yet. Hopefully it is not the start of any sort of pattern.
Master's Program Update: Tonight I followed a link on a friend's facebook page to "Sexting Ice Breakers for English Grad Students" for laughs. Afterwards there was another link titled "An Open Letter to My Abandoned English MA Degree." I clicked it and am relieved to find that there was nothing surprising. I already know that an MA in English Literature is basically useless in the real world, costs more money than it will ever make most of us, and leads to complete dead-ends in the Land of Paying Jobs (adjunct professorships? publishing obscure papers in university journals?). Cool. I know all of this. I also had a little chuckle* when the writer made a crack about inevitably becoming a high school English teacher, because - haHA - that's actually what I want to spend my life doing, not a sad, fall-back option I'll be forced to accept when my dreams of becoming rich and famous for my theories on YA dystopia fail.
BUT, I still feel like I'm ahead of that other schmuck who got sucked into The Debt We Call Grad School because I will be getting something else out of my experience altogether. I - if everything goes according to my plans - will get to live for a year in a foreign country (awesome!) with my boyfriend (awesome!) and travel and see and do things I wouldn't do at home (totally awesome!). Really, isn't grad school just the excuse to do all that other stuff anyway?
I think it is for me, at least in some capacity, a way to live a different life for a little while. Yes, I want the degree anyway. Yes, I expect that if I ever get sick of teaching high school, I will go on to teach college or university and will need the MA as a step toward those possibilities. But doing it right now is mostly fueled by the idea that if I don't, I won't. I won't take the big step and be adventurous about it. But maybe it's better that I see grad school this way, since everyone who went into it expecting something more seems to be bitterly disappointed. Thus, this awesome Google search:
*I hate the word "chuckle" but there's nothing that works better here.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Resolutions 2012/Keep Your Mouth Shut
I've been thinking a lot in the last several months about goals, public perception, this blog, and motivation. I started this blog three years ago when I first considered moving to England as a way to break out of my routine, shake up my life, and really DO something. I wanted to have a place where I could share the trials and tribulations of moving to a different country and the adventures I'd have there. But I never went.
It's not that I didn't want to go or that I chickened out. I was never offered a job in the UK and so I didn't make the big jump. It just didn't work out that time.
Later in the first year of this blog I wrote about my attempts to write the next big novel in chick lit based on experiences with my friends. Another flop. I started dating someone and suddenly had no interest in writing about dating.
Each time I announce my intentions on this blog, the 4 people who read it congratulate me on my boldness. When I talked to my friends and family about applying to work in the UK back in 2009, they all rallied around to pat me on the back for my courage and gumption. But the thing is, I actually hadn't shown any real courage yet. I never got on a plane.
I want this time to be different. I started thinking about graduate school again this last September because I was terrified of becoming stagnant in my life and I wanted to make sure I had a plan to work towards. Now I want to actually do it, and I'm torn over how much I should write about it. In my research I've found conflicting messages, too. We're told to announce our New Year's resolutions so that our friends will hold us to them. Which is why, I guess, everyone (including me) posts every time they go to the gym on facebook. This article from CNN this morning also claims that declaring your intentions is an essential part of setting realistic goals. But then there's this TED Talk about how keeping your goals to yourself actually makes it more likely that you'll achieve them...
The problem is, I think they are both right. In his TED talk, Derek Sivers claims that if you announce your goal, people will congratulate you so much on setting a big goal, that you'll feel as if you've already somewhat accomplished it, so you won't have the motivation to do the real work of accomplishing the goal. That makes sense and I can attest to it. I told people that Joe and I want to move to London next year = people were surprised and impressed and excited for us. Wow, good feeling.
But the other side is true, too. If I never told anyone that Joe and I want to move to London next year, it wouldn't feel like a real goal. Since we've declared our intentions, our various friends and family have shared their desires to visit us there, or go with us when we visit various other locales around Europe. It makes me want to go so that we can have those experiences with those people. I want to stroll the streets of London at Christmas with my mom. I want to meet Joe's mom in Italy for a week or two. I want to go and be there and do it for real and not just talk about it.
I am not one to make resolutions on New Year's, so I'm not going to declare my intentions for 2012 in that way here. I'll say that I'm in the application process still and that it's taking longer than I expected since I got my job in November. I still plan to use this blog to chronicle my experience as I try to make this jump, so I haven't let Derek Sivers get to me too much so far. But maybe I won't post until I have something definite to report each time.
It's not that I didn't want to go or that I chickened out. I was never offered a job in the UK and so I didn't make the big jump. It just didn't work out that time.
Later in the first year of this blog I wrote about my attempts to write the next big novel in chick lit based on experiences with my friends. Another flop. I started dating someone and suddenly had no interest in writing about dating.
Each time I announce my intentions on this blog, the 4 people who read it congratulate me on my boldness. When I talked to my friends and family about applying to work in the UK back in 2009, they all rallied around to pat me on the back for my courage and gumption. But the thing is, I actually hadn't shown any real courage yet. I never got on a plane.
I want this time to be different. I started thinking about graduate school again this last September because I was terrified of becoming stagnant in my life and I wanted to make sure I had a plan to work towards. Now I want to actually do it, and I'm torn over how much I should write about it. In my research I've found conflicting messages, too. We're told to announce our New Year's resolutions so that our friends will hold us to them. Which is why, I guess, everyone (including me) posts every time they go to the gym on facebook. This article from CNN this morning also claims that declaring your intentions is an essential part of setting realistic goals. But then there's this TED Talk about how keeping your goals to yourself actually makes it more likely that you'll achieve them...
The problem is, I think they are both right. In his TED talk, Derek Sivers claims that if you announce your goal, people will congratulate you so much on setting a big goal, that you'll feel as if you've already somewhat accomplished it, so you won't have the motivation to do the real work of accomplishing the goal. That makes sense and I can attest to it. I told people that Joe and I want to move to London next year = people were surprised and impressed and excited for us. Wow, good feeling.
But the other side is true, too. If I never told anyone that Joe and I want to move to London next year, it wouldn't feel like a real goal. Since we've declared our intentions, our various friends and family have shared their desires to visit us there, or go with us when we visit various other locales around Europe. It makes me want to go so that we can have those experiences with those people. I want to stroll the streets of London at Christmas with my mom. I want to meet Joe's mom in Italy for a week or two. I want to go and be there and do it for real and not just talk about it.
I am not one to make resolutions on New Year's, so I'm not going to declare my intentions for 2012 in that way here. I'll say that I'm in the application process still and that it's taking longer than I expected since I got my job in November. I still plan to use this blog to chronicle my experience as I try to make this jump, so I haven't let Derek Sivers get to me too much so far. But maybe I won't post until I have something definite to report each time.
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